(smells) like the corpse of a rotting hottie

hi.

 so today was much like any other day

I wiped butts, fed babies, played house elf, played with babies, took babies on adventures

(it's a fair observation to so say that my life revolves around tiny human beings)

 

only today after I dropped a yogurt

for no apparent reason mind you

I decided that my life is completely made up of
awkward micheal j. fox (post-parkinsons) stumbled moments 

uncoordinatedly strung together
in a mismatched handiCAPABLE fashion..

 

i'm really clumsy ya know?

and that was just my first epiphany

 

today was also special cause I showered!

I know, how much of a filthy hamster am I that that's a notable occurance??

I thought about it & it had only been 3 days

ONLY?

the worst part about this is I felt guilt!

like full on semi-catholic (cause i'm not catholic.. ok so nothing like catholic)

GUILT!!

 

who feels guilty about hygiene?

smelly old me apparently..

 

also today I gardened..

I never garden!!

probably due to the green thumb that I DON'T have

but today was different

 

(for a variety of reasons)

 

& I was just feeling it

so I gardened..

in hindsight  Roxie probably should have asked anyone else in the house to do it

(including BenCat..BenCat has 1 eye)

because i'm horrible at it

I have thee hardest time determining weed from flora

like at first i'm really meek & only take a few OBVIOUS garden pesks

but then I grow bolder & bolder with each noxious weed I smite

so I start to pull more.. & more.. & MORE..then suddenly

'holy schnikies where's the plants? but look at this sharp looking patch of fresh turned soil!'

so black thumb & ok

can I just tell you how much I DON'T enjoy gardening?

ok

'I don't enjoy gardening.. at all'

 

Then tonight on the boys walk my apparel was exceptionally dyke looking??

(sidenote: I live in loungewear & just discovered an affinity to cut off boys shirts)

& my family said I should amp it & really REALLY go for it

aka add my lesbian hiking boots & make a social experiment out of it

for science sake.. right??

they want me to go as long as I can looking as gender confused as possible

& my thoughts are

'yeah.. cause if the single mom thing, awkward demeanor, & poor hygiene wasn't enough to scare away potential sutors.. this will DEFINETLY get the job done!!'

solid plan folks

 

so more on my social experiment later

not that i'm committing to it persay

let's just face it

 i'm too lazy, most days, to get ready anyways

so I generally have an inherently butch look about myself as is

 

what was the point of this blog post you say???

sorry folks, i'm afraid today was kinda like a high school romance

aka POINTLESS

& all you got today was a big fatty look inside the scatterbrained mind of me