The Year of the Ashcat//Ash Wednesday

((AKA the best years of my life))

 

so.. let me start off by saying I was never someone who wanted children.. honestly, i'm about as maternal as a rock (I know shocking because I come off as such a warm & inviting individual.. *scoff) .. & I didn't plan on having kids for a long LONG time (if ever).. but then I disregarded ALL those horrendously awkward sex-ed videos from my public school era, that warned me about 'sex' & how it can have permanent & last side effects such as 'children' & wouldn't ya know it, they were right..

& he is the best side effect I've ever had (&& I know a damn thing about 'side-effects'.. I am the Poster Child for 'Murphy's Law.. if somethings going to happen to that 1% iiii am going to be that 1%)  don't get me wrong though it wasn't all cat purrs & chocolate milk.. the thought of ME having a CHILD terrified me & then to realize that I would be an M-O-M just about made me shit my pants.. I mean ya I was 22 (almost 23), had already gone through school, && had already read ALL the Harry Potters, but I mean even with that impressive resume, could IIIIIIIIIIII raise a semi-respectable member of society??? I don't know.. I still have my doubts & go through those days where i'm sure if my child had been solely reared by me he MIGHT have been the next Jeffry Domer..

^maternity pictures courtesy of :: KatyDid Photography^^

so as my child approach's his big TWO YEAR OLD milestone I can't help but gush.. (if you're sick of hearing about/seeing pictures of my kid NOW is the time to exit this blog post.. but I hate you & you're wrong).. I mean throughout combined efforts, that I've been a part of, a human being has been kept alive for almost TWO whole calendar years.. although he HAS done his best to thwart our efforts (over achiever + no regard for physical safety or wellbeing + the energy of an entire Rugby team in one tiny body = asher)

& while I NEVER saw my life taking quite this drastic of a turn of events I can't say I regret one minute of it.. now I DO regret how I spent my time leading up to my Ashy.. I wish I would have done more so I could be more & do more for him.. but you cant cry over spilled milk (unless it's breast milk.. then you just go ahead & sob)

alas here he is, & here I am & we're doing ok.. i'll ask my Coley all the time 'what did we do before babies??' & she'll say 'I have no idea but I know I had a TON more free time, I wasn't near this freakin tired, & thought I was a LOT busier than I was' & it's the truth.. I can't really remember what life was like before these tiny tyrants we call children came along but I honestly can say it wasn't anywhere near as important as my life now!

I have never actually written down his birth story so I figure I should get it down on paper, while it's still semi-fresh.. okay okay it's completely stale BUT the events of that day, like the pain of labor, will forever be scarred into my brain.. ONWARDS..

okay so 2 year ago today I was very, very pregnant right now.. i was in the home stretch, my dr's appts had graduated to 'weekly status', baby was running out of room, i was having a hard time finding enough room for myself in my own body, & i was ready to have a baby.. don't get me wrong I  LOVED being pregnant.. I never worried about the weight gain (35 'HEALTHY' pounds holla!!) ..Everytime i got weighed i left my coat &&& shoes on & said with gusto 'alright tell me how NOT thin i am'!!.. I never really was horribly uncomfortable.. it didn't slow me down.. & i only got 3 1/2 inch stretch marks above my belly button.. that totally fan out into like a crown which i have always attributed to my Little Prince 'branding me'.. which i oddly find heartwarming??

^taken 5 days before the GREAT PUSH whilst in early labor^

 

BUT anyways my body started into labor the entire week before I had him (normal, according to my doctor, since we THOUGHT i was 40 weeks.. that is another story)  & so 3 days into that I was OVER the contractions every 3 minutes & the constant pee breaks.. among other horrible unmentionable things.. (birth is just carnage.. pure bodily carnage) & I was convinced he was NEVER going to come out.. he was an incredibly lazy baby towards the end, like wouldn't move all day, (even when i fell down the stairs..) nothing fazed my 'Stone Cold Steve Austin' baby, && I think he really was just cozy all up in my uterus.. so even though I was TECHNICALLY in early labor my Dr. made the appointment to strip my membranes (she didn't want to use pitocin unless necessary) Tuesday the 5th due to the fact that it WAS my first baby & my body didn't know quite how to get the ball rolling & that I was measuring at//my ultrasounds were reading that I was mere days away from 41 weeks pregnant

^trying to jump this baby out 2 days prior^

oh & me & Gabey are matching fatties in our onsies

 so i'm supposed to have my membranes stripped that Tuesday at 11:30am & have my baby later that day.. Monday night comes, I eat some Jello & head to bed.. only I couldn't sleep.. I constantly was having contractions && I had to pee literally every 5 minutes.. so naturally i'm pissed cause I know I NEED my sleep cause tomorrow I was birthing a baby (oh how right I would turn out to be).. I ended up getting maybe 2 hours of sleep that night.. 4:45am comes & I feel like I have to get up & walk around.. so I go into the kitchen & BAM contraction!!  so i'm leaning on the island & I look up & staring at me through the laundry room door is Miss Kitty.. now I've been admitted & booted out of the hospital 3 times in the last week & that does NOT do good things for a preggers woman's moral.. so I look at my cat, delirious with pain, & verbally ask her.. 'MK, if this is really REALLY it, give me a sign.. any sign..' now this cat is the most fidgety vocal borderline-autistic feline in the history of ever & for the first, last, & only time in her life she did nothing.. NOTHING.. that damn cat didn't even blink.. I was so mad that if it didn't feel like lady parts were being repeatedly run over I probably would have marched right over to her & drop kicked her.. but my lady parts DID feel like they were being repeatedly run over so my spiteful cat lived to see many another day.. then at about 5:10am  I had the overwhelming feeling that I need to drop a deuce (I know. child birth is so cute) so my soul is a little crushed when I realize 'maybe all that i'm meant to birth tonight is a turd..' so I waddle my way to the bathroom sit down & nothing.. & then HOLY HELL a massive contraction hits me while i'm sitting on the can...

now I feel is a good time to tell you that I didn't go to any birthing classes.. knew nothing of controlling my breathing & what not.. so naturally i'm in a lot of pain & so I just stop breathing.. so now i'm on the pot with my pants down & i'm getting extremely light headed & I realize that if I pass out now, i'm going to fall off, & Ben who is just through the wall from the bathroom, will hear the thud & investigate & find me pants down, ass up, on the floor.. which A. no brother should have to see & B. I knew when Ben DID find me like that he was likely to leave me there & go back to bed.. so with that heartwarming scenario in mind I now was determined to get through this contraction & go get myself help WITH my pants on.. so the contraction ends, I re-oxygenate my body, & I book it for the stairs..

down down down the stairs I go (not too fast, dont need to fall down them again.. although it would have saved time) I reach the bottom, shuffle to the end of the hallway, open the door to my mom, turn on the light, & CONTRACTION.. so I hit the floor, on ALL fours, not saying anything, she pops up & chiperly ask's 'is it go-time?? okay let me go put my shoes' with WAY too much enthusiasm for me at that moment.. contraction ends & I open the door to my room (where Coley & Gabe are staying) they are both up & i am retarded amounts of hurt at the moment so I open the door peak my head in, then close the door.. then I repeat this process 5 more times before Coley finally asks (in a semi-non judgemental tone) 'soooooo... baby??/ I am finally able to gather my wits about me & respond 'we don't know but mom's gonna take me in then we'll see if it's another false alarm so we'll call you if it's for real' (surprisingly articulate considering the last 5 silent minutes of my life *backpat*)  Nicole declares 'NONSENSE we're already up so we're coming right now!!' so up she goes & I take this opportunity to draw on my eyebrows.. I was NOT bring a baby into this world with OUT eyebrows (it made sense to me at the time) then I waddle upstairs & put on my slippers, get through another contraction & then I waddle out to the car.

. my MOM goes literally 100mph on icy roads & gets me to the hospital in no more than 45 seconds.. I'm not kidding you.. my single request was 'DON'T JOSTLE ME!!'  we screech up to the ER & she throws it in park jumps out & eats it.. HARD.. on some black ice (& wouldn't you know it another contraction so I missed the excitement.. it's probably for the best.. I would have laughed & it would have hurt more) so they get me into L&D room 2 at around 5:45am.. & the nurse checks me & lo & behold i'm at a 5.. & i'm bipolar when i'm in labor pains.. I was yelling at people then apologizing profusely cause I was terrified they'd get mad & not give me the drugs.. (&& I was in full on junkie mode looking for that sweet spinal tap fix) .. so we're waiting for the anesthesiologist & they SAY they can give me other pain meds through my IV.. only they can't get a line it.. cause they kept blowing out my veins.. in both arms..  I WANT TO DIE.. (asher said 'OPEN SESAME' & my cervix did NOT skip a beat..

reading a Sports Illustrated.. trying to bring those good testosterone vibes into the room..

my contractions were hitting hard & heavy.. i have had no drugs.. i had made my peace with God//was willing myself to just. die. & hoped that Coley would recognize her role in all of this && would just slice me open & retrieve my baby, ala Twilight style..

 

35 minutes later, my drug dealer finally showed up, got the IV in with a needle literally the size of a basketball pump, & then sets about to giving me the goods.. & only numbed my right side.. HOWEVER they were able to check me now because i no longer had a death wish & TADA!! i was already fully at a 10.. so in less than 40 minutes i was OPEN for business..i'm telling you people i was made to birth babies.. & while i most definitely got that epidural for the pushing, i KNOW what dialating to a 10 feels like.. & it's not good.. so then we re-did my epidural again & now BOTH sides were numb & all was right in the world..

after that my Dr. showed up & asked how I was (awesome, flipping AWESOME) & then she said if I was good to sit for about an hour, to let the baby move down, she was gonna go check on patients.. now I have sisters that had to get ready for babies first photo-op so it just was best for everyone to wait a while before pushing.. so we chilled & painted face for about 1&1/2 hours then my Dr. came back & we set about getting the show on the road..

^^ first photo op with the goods)

Finally after about an hour of pushing (I felt like Greys Anatomy should have better prepared me for real time pushing) .. at 10:00 am, on March 5th, Asher Ames popped out an exceptionally healthy (albeit 4 FULL weeks premature.. He was born the day he turned 36 weeks.. I say this to fully illustrate what a TANK he would have been had he gone full term) 7lbs 11.5oz,

19'' long (short???) NO respiratory problems, scored an 8 on the APGAR, && MY was he a handsome new born.. I know MOST everybody say that, but my babes really was a good looking, straight out the womb

^^taken AS they handed him back to me only MNUTES old.. I know BABEin right?!?!^^

he was SUCH good baby.. he slept most the time.. only cried when he was hungry.. nursed like a champ,. & had no less than 10 dirty diapers a DAY! he had the farts of a full grown man..the only thing was he pretended to be deaf for 2 months.. like failed hearing tests.. didn't respond to noise.. just ignored us.. he was incredibly rude.. then he started smiling as SOON as the ruse was up.. he was just a little cuddle bug.. he NEVER cooed.. instead opting for zombie-esque grunts..

^moms little dock worker^

 Ben was the ONLY sibling not there for the birth.. he said 'I already watched my legitimate nephew come out I don't need to see your bastard be borned'.. he was mostly kidding;)

 

Great Grandma Peggy

MomCole loved the Tiny AshMan

Pop pop loves his manly little grandchildren

 Aunt Turtle

 are you my mother??

 

 Aunt SUGs (she was seriously considering stealing him in this moment..Brooke just has creepy baby snatching vibes)

 

basically he is the best thing that I have ever & will ever do.. & honestly I feel like he is to great for me to even take any credit.. he is so far beyond myself in every way.. I mean in looks he IS my mini-me, but in all the wonderful that he is, he is 100% self-made.. i'm so happy he chose to be a part of our loud crazy family & I can't wait for many many MANY more years of the Ashcat

^when he was 1 week old^

 

^mothers day in Hawaii// 2 months old^

 

^GIRL-OFF with brother-cousin Gabe^

 

^moms bad biker babe on a bike ride to see one of his favorite people, POP POP, at work^

 

^mustache MAY^

 

^First 4th of July in their homemade Merica belly shirts^

 

his Aunty Helen MADE him & Gabe CUSTOM speedo's for their first camping trip at Priest Lake ID

BEACH BABES

 



he hated watermelon?? WHAT!!! that was one of my biggest pregnancy cravings!!!

 

^first Halloween//Gabeoween.. Lucifer & Gus Gus^^

Coley MADE that costume from SCRATCH!!

 

Christmas 2013

 

WALKING at 9 months

 

He LOVES his Caylo sissy

 

 

^First birthday// the mustache bash^

 

\

on his FIRST CRUISE

(Asher has been to 4 Countries & 11 states)

 

^Being a sweet church go-er boy^

(he's finally gotten to only biting ONE kid in nursery.. that kid is Gabe)

First boat ride

^this is how we rode.. the entire time^

 

FIRST TUBE RIDE!!

 

^The END of that first tube ride^

(kidding)

 

^weekly family trips to the Tauphus Park Zoo//summer 2014^

 

Ashcats 2nd Halloween/GabeOween

(Shaggy & the Miner Forty-Niner)

 

ASHCAT OUT

 

Ps::happy ASH Wednesday

Pss:: ..we're not catholic..

Psss:: ..like at all..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

QUIT SLACKIN' && MAKE (sh)IT HAPPEN

for a story to be good it has to be :: a.funny or b.compelling.. i'm not sure that this will be either..

TODAY was a big day.. I recently took a month long sabbatical away from the gym.. the first week was pretty rough.. my body craved movement!! (for the record I didn't give in.. i'm not a quitter) by the end of the 2nd week my butt was slowly getting used to NOT getting used.. & this last week I had comfortably & completely given in to slothdome.. which told me I NEEDED to get back.. so back I went today.. & honestly i'd only gained 4 lbs. (which isn't that much.. to me.. a decent dumper could account for a 1/2 of that) but anyways so today I went back to my cult (crossfit)

&&& holy hell what a TERRIBLE day to decide to go back.. it was the (not so) magnificent seven.. to be honest it was just called 'The Seven'.. but by adding 'magnificent' it gives it a certain misleading quality.. also it's just catchy.. it took me 30 minutes.. my shirt was fairly damp with sweat .. for the record i'm not a sweater so that's about the extent of my perspiration.. & it only occurs during extreme exertion... so to sum it up.. it. sucked.

so naturally. after all was said & done. I rewarded myself to the ultimate recovery drink.. a big fatty fountain dt. dew.. && even though I now feel like shit (to a certain degree) I ALSO feel marketably better.. I hate that you really DO have more energy afterwards.. i'd have a much easier time convincing myself NOT to do it if it didn't have obvious & somewhat immediate health benefits.. *sigh* first world probs.. anyways.. as I first warned you. neither :: a.funny or b.compelling


ps.. I think i'm going to take up yoga.. I mean I've seen a LOT of it on Pinterest lately && I CAN touch my toes &&& I own about a thousand pairs of yoga pants.. so basically.. already a Yogi (<<< is that even a word?? noun?? verb??)

WOLF OUT!

DAD'S ARE RAD...S???

ALL ABOUT DAD:: 2014 Edition 

MY DAD IS FUNNY BECAUSE: i'm not that funny
MY DAD THINKS I AM FUNNY WHEN:
MY DAD IS ______ YEARS OLD: 51
HIS FAVORITE THING TO DO IS: right now?? crossfit I guess.. OH YA & I LOVE HANGING OUTWITH MY BABIES
HIS FAVORITE COLOR IS: blue
MY DADS JOB IS: cpBORING
HIS FAVORITE THING TO EAT: sushi 
HE IS REALLY GOOD AT: making daughters that birth me really cute grandbabies
MY DAD LOVES WHEN I: OBEY...ME!!
MY DAD ALWAYS SAYS: what the hell
MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT MY DAD IS:   
MY DAD IS SMART BECAUSE HE KNOWS:  not to anger Roxie
MY DADS FAVORITE SPORT IS:  it's either football or basketball.. probably basketball
MY DADS FAVORITE SONG: let it be - the beatles
MY DADS LEAST FAVORITE MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: flying standby
MY DADS FAVORITE DOG BREED: none
MY DADS LEAST FAVORITE DOG BREED: chiuhuahua.. or a boxer
MY DADS FAVORITE DESSERT: you know it's probably cherry cheesecake..

___________________________________________________________________

BEN::
MY DAD IS FUNNY BECAUSE: dave dance
MY DAD THINKS I AM FUNNY WHEN: mmmm.. when I talk about ladies
MY DAD IS ______ YEARS OLD: 52
HIS FAVORITE THING TO DO IS: Hike.. & spend time with Olyvia
HIS FAVORITE COLOR IS: uhhhhh red
MY DADS JOB IS: CPA
HIS FAVORITE THING TO EAT: macaroni & tomatoes 
HE IS REALLY GOOD AT: accounting
MY DAD LOVES WHEN I: grace him with my presence
MY DAD ALWAYS SAYS: 'hello this is Dave'
MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT MY DAD IS: his green eyebrows  
MY DAD IS SMART BECAUSE HE KNOWS: he knows all the wrong lyrics to every song ever written
MY DADS FAVORITE SPORT IS: uh it depends.. college basketball but he'll watch ANY sport 
MY DADS FAVORITE SONG: American pie.. billy don't be a hero.
MY DADS LEAST FAVORITE MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: flying standby
MY DADS FAVORITE DOG BREED: a dead one
MY DADS LEAST FAVORITE DOG BREED: chiahuahua
MY DADS FAVORITE DESSERT: cherry pie

___________________________________________________________________

BROOKE::
MY DAD IS FUNNY BECAUSE: uhhhhh... I don't know.. dads not really funny.. we only laugh at him because his laugh is wheezy & it's funny
MY DAD THINKS I AM FUNNY WHEN:  I make fun of people
MY DAD IS ______ YEARS OLD:  um.. he's 52.. no he'll be 52 on July 9th
HIS FAVORITE THING TO DO IS: crossfit now
HIS FAVORITE COLOR IS: blue
MY DADS JOB IS: an accountant.. cpa..
HIS FAVORITE THING TO EAT: pork chops
HE IS REALLY GOOD AT: everything
MY DAD LOVES WHEN I: ummm.. accomplish things
MY DAD ALWAYS SAYS:  guess what I heard
MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT MY DAD IS: too many things to count.. but his willingness to help people. his selflessness 
MY DAD IS SMART BECAUSE HE KNOWS: all of his kids names
MY DADS FAVORITE SPORT IS: football
MY DADS FAVORITE SONG: anything by P!nk
MY DADS LEAST FAVORITE MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: the saab 
MY DADS FAVORITE DOG BREED: none
MY DADS LEAST FAVORITE DOG BREED: tibbs
MY DADS FAVORITE DESSERT: cherry pie

_________________________________________________________________

AMY::
MY DAD IS FUNNY BECAUSE: i'm his daughter.. i'm so funny that by proxy he MUST be funny
MY DAD THINKS I AM FUNNY WHEN: all the time.. i'm a hoot
MY DAD IS ______ YEARS OLD: 51
HIS FAVORITE THING TO DO IS: play with his grandbabies
HIS FAVORITE COLOR IS: blue
MY DADS JOB IS: a CPA
HIS FAVORITE THING TO EAT: Japanese food/sushi
HE IS REALLY GOOD AT: softball.. in basketball shoes
MY DAD LOVES WHEN I: give him athletic illegitimate grandchildren
MY DAD ALWAYS SAYS: that's gross man
MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT MY DAD IS: he always thinks of others
MY DAD IS SMART BECAUSE HE KNOWS: how to live with copious females and NOT anger them.. mostly
MY DADS FAVORITE SPORT IS: any sport.. he loves even the loosest form of an athletic undertaking
MY DADS FAVORITE SONG: anything by queen
MY DADS LEAST FAVORITE MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: the saab..
MY DADS FAVORITE DOG BREED: a dead one
MY DADS LEAST FAVORITE DOG BREED: tibbs
MY DADS FAVORITE DESSERT:  no bake-cheesecake.. or red vines licorice

______________________________________________________________

LYVIE::
MY DAD IS FUNNY BECAUSE: he has the best 'Dave Dance'
MY DAD THINKS I AM FUNNY WHEN: I argue
MY DAD IS ______ YEARS OLD: 51
HIS FAVORITE THING TO DO IS: hang out with his grandbabies
HIS FAVORITE COLOR IS: blue
MY DADS JOB IS: accountant
HIS FAVORITE THING TO EAT: chicken.. pork chops, my bad pork chops 
HE IS REALLY GOOD AT: making macaroni & tomatoes
MY DAD LOVES WHEN I: don't argue
MY DAD ALWAYS SAYS: shut-up lyv..
MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT MY DAD IS: he's a cool dude
MY DAD IS SMART BECAUSE HE KNOWS: math?? I don't know he's an accountant
MY DADS FAVORITE SPORT IS: football..actually it's probably basketball
MY DADS FAVORITE SONG: anything that he can incorrectly sing the lyrics to
MY DADS LEAST FAVORITE MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: flying.. standby
MY DADS FAVORITE DOG BREED: one that's outside.
MY DADS LEAST FAVORITE DOG BREED: one that's inside..
MY DADS FAVORITE DESSERT: cherry pie

___________________________________________________________________

COLEY::
MY DAD IS FUNNY BECAUSE: dumpster dave.. also because he dave dances & wheezes when he laughs
MY DAD THINKS I AM FUNNY WHEN: I don't know, he likes to make fun of me
MY DAD IS ______ YEARS OLD: 52
HIS FAVORITE THING TO DO IS: play with gabe & ashey.. & occasionally caylo
HIS FAVORITE COLOR IS: chrome.. im just kidding.. blue
MY DADS JOB IS: super boring
HIS FAVORITE THING TO EAT: sushi
HE IS REALLY GOOD AT: making layups at state tournament basketball games
MY DAD LOVES WHEN I: have cute babies
MY DAD ALWAYS SAYS: DeCoria you piece of shit.. you want to tangle.. that's gross man
MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT MY DAD IS: he's real coooooo
MY DAD IS SMART BECAUSE HE KNOWS: how to make lots of money
MY DADS FAVORITE SPORT IS: football
MY DADS FAVORITE SONG: anything by pink
MY DADS LEAST FAVORITE MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: flying..standby
MY DADS FAVORITE DOG BREED: LAB
MY DADS LEAST FAVORITE DOG BREED: boxer.. actually he would like a boxhuahua least..
MY DADS FAVORITE DESSERT: bread pudding..

____________________________________________________________________

PHIL::
PHIL IS FUNNY BECAUSE:  I AM JUST FUNNY
PHIL THINKS I AM FUNNY WHEN:  I AM ALWAYS FUNNY
PHIL IS ______ YEARS OLD: 24
PHILS FAVORITE THING TO DO IS: WORKING ON ANYTHING WITH A MOTOR 
PHILS FAVORITE COLOR IS: PURPLE
PHILS JOB IS: FATHER/HUSBAND/STUDENT
PHILS FAVORITE THING TO EAT: CHICKEN ENCHILADAS/BREAKFAST FOOD.  
PHILS REALLY GOOD AT:BEING AN AWESOME DAD AND MECHANIC.
PHILLOVES WHEN I:MAKE HIM LAUGH
PHIL ALWAYS SAYS: IM AWESOME
MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT PHIL IS: EVERYTHING, HE IS PERFECT
PHIL IS SMART BECAUSE HE KNOWS: EVERYTHING ABOUT MOTORS AND VEHICLES
PHILS FAVORITE SPORT IS:HOCKEY
PHILS FAVORITE SONG: SAD BUT TRUE
PHILS LEAST FAVORITE MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: WALKING
PHILS FAVORITE DOG BREED: IRISH WOLFHOUND
PHILS LEAST FAVORITE DOG BREED: CHI....CHUE....TIBBS
PHILS FAVORITE DESSERT:STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE AND ICE CREAM.

__________________________________________________________

BEN::
PHIL IS FUNNY BECAUSE: he's gay
PHIL THINKS I AM FUNNY WHEN: I call him gay  
PHIL IS ______ YEARS OLD: gay
PHILS FAVORITE THING TO DO IS: gay 
PHILS FAVORITE COLOR IS: gay
PHILS JOB IS: gay
PHILS FAVORITE THING TO EAT: gay
PHILS REALLY GOOD AT: gay
PHIL LOVES WHEN I: say he's gay
PHIL ALWAYS SAYS: i'm gay
MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT PHIL IS: he came out & is proud
PHIL IS SMART BECAUSE HE KNOWS: all the lyrics to every Elton john song ever written
PHILS FAVORITE SPORT IS: he doesn't really like any sport in particular.. he just likes a lot of balls..
PHILS FAVORITE SONG: i'm stuck in the closet - r. kelly
PHILS LEAST FAVORITE MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: his feet
PHILS FAVORITE DOG BREED: a gay one
PHILS LEAST FAVORITE DOG BREED: a not gay one
PHILS FAVORITE DESSERT: fudge.. or a banana.

__________________________________________________________________

BROOKE::
PHIL IS FUNNY BECAUSE: phil isn't funny 
PHIL THINKS I AM FUNNY WHEN:  I fart
PHIL IS ______ YEARS OLD: 23
PHILS FAVORITE THING TO DO IS: anything car related 
PHILS FAVORITE COLOR IS:  camo
PHILS JOB IS: ummm.. school
PHILS FAVORITE THING TO EAT: aunt stella's fudge 
PHILS REALLY GOOD AT: being a dad
PHIL LOVES WHEN I: take gabe in the morning so he doesn't have to wake up
PHIL ALWAYS SAYS: stupid jokes
MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT PHIL IS: how much he loves Coley
PHIL IS SMART BECAUSE HE KNOWS: not to fart on his sister Brooke cause she'd punch him in the face
PHILS FAVORITE SPORT IS: soccer
PHILS FAVORITE SONG: radioactive
PHILS LEAST FAVORITE MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: walking
PHILS FAVORITE DOG BREED: jake
PHILS LEAST FAVORITE DOG BREED: tibbs
PHILS FAVORITE DESSERT: anything & everything

______________________________________________________________

AMY::
PHIL IS FUNNY BECAUSE: phil is never funny 
PHIL THINKS I AM FUNNY WHEN: phil always thinks im funny
PHIL IS ______ YEARS OLD: 24
PHILS FAVORITE THING TO DO IS: anything that could be put into a 'redneck handbook'
PHILS FAVORITE COLOR IS: purple
PHILS JOB IS: get good grades, to get a good career, to make good money
PHILS FAVORITE THING TO EAT: anything that falls into the realm of 'breakfast'
PHILS REALLY GOOD AT: stairs
PHIL LOVES WHEN I: cropdust him
PHIL ALWAYS SAYS: oh come on guys that was funny
MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT PHIL IS: he is exceptionally laidback & is never mean.. well to anyone but me
PHIL IS SMART BECAUSE HE KNOWS:  how to lose 30 lbs of fat & gain 40 lbs of muscle
PHILS FAVORITE SPORT IS: hockey
PHILS FAVORITE SONG: anything from Justin bieber.. beliebe it
PHILS LEAST FAVORITE MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: running
PHILS FAVORITE DOG BREED: irish wolfhound
PHILS LEAST FAVORITE DOG BREED: tibbs..
PHILS FAVORITE DESSERT: ice cream

______________________________________________________________

LYVIE::
PHIL IS FUNNY BECAUSE:  he's fat
PHIL THINKS I AM FUNNY WHEN: I don't know  
PHIL IS ______ YEARS OLD: 24
PHILS FAVORITE THING TO DO IS: look at cars on KSL 
PHILS FAVORITE COLOR IS: green?
PHILS JOB IS: going to school.. he doesn't have a job.. he's a lazy hobo
PHILS FAVORITE THING TO EAT: cereal
PHILS REALLY GOOD AT: being a faggot
PHIL LOVES WHEN I: kick him in the face
PHIL ALWAYS SAYS: oh come on that was funny
MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT PHIL IS: is this a trick question?
PHIL IS SMART BECAUSE HE KNOWS: stuff about cars
PHILS FAVORITE SPORT IS: he doesn't watch sports
PHILS FAVORITE SONG: shitty screamo.. not the good screamo the bad screamo
PHILS LEAST FAVORITE MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: walking
PHILS FAVORITE DOG BREED: a hound or something
PHILS LEAST FAVORITE DOG BREED: tibbs
PHILS FAVORITE DESSERT: strawberry shortcake

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COLEY::
PHIL IS FUNNY BECAUSE: because he is goofy & 90% of the time he doesn't know what hes talking about.. 95%
PHIL THINKS I AM FUNNY WHEN: I get frusterated & swear 
PHIL IS ______ YEARS OLD: 22.. 24 what the hell 
PHILS FAVORITE THING TO DO IS: hang out with his ladies & his babies
PHILS FAVORITE COLOR IS: purple
PHILS JOB IS: being a dad
PHILS FAVORITE THING TO EAT:  chicken enchiladas
PHILS REALLY GOOD AT: car stuff.. being a dad
PHIL LOVES WHEN I: make chicken enchiladas
PHIL ALWAYS SAYS: come on guys that was funny
MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT PHIL IS: he's like a puppy
PHIL IS SMART BECAUSE HE KNOWS: a lot of stuff
PHILS FAVORITE SPORT IS: soccer
PHILS FAVORITE SONG: something gay
PHILS LEAST FAVORITE MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: walking
PHILS FAVORITE DOG BREED: irish wolfhound
PHILS LEAST FAVORITE DOG BREED: chiahuahua
PHILS FAVORITE DESSERT: ice cream.. no strawberry shortcake with strawberries & whip cream.