you'll have to speak up.. i'm wearing a towel

firstly: i have a problem.. it's not a recent development either..  its something I've struggled with for a long time.. but i have a feeling that I'm not alone in my fight & that many people deal with the same ailment.. i have Password amnesia.. I know, I know.. there are simple solutions to prevent it.. but I'm stubborn & in my mind i can have a different password for every single one of my online accounts & it'll be fine because I'm smart..

well i guess I'm not as smart as i think i am because it just took me 30 minutes to figure out how to sign into this blog account.. sidenote: I'm not tech savvy.. & i end up wanting to punch technology in the face 6 out of every 5 times.. I'm also super good at math;)






so life lately has been about the same..






+my cult (crossfit) is going well.. minus the fact i want to die every single day..






+I'm getting my eyebrows tattooed on this Friday, which kinda makes me poop my pants due to my last tattoo turning out so well.. however that being said it's going to be nice to be able to go swimming or throw caution (& my eyebrow pencil) to the wind & NOT have people ask whats wrong with my face (eyebrows folks.. more important than you think..)






+i have a slightly separated collarbone due to a terrible injury i don't remember receiving.. which is weird cause it's right underneath my face so if i HAD in fact done something that was enough to cause damage to my collarbone i would think my face would still have evidence in the form of, i don't know, a bruise???  which leads me to believe that I'm not the one at fault here & someone probably karate chopped my neck in my sleep.. i don't want to sound dramatic &/or jump to conclusions but that is the most logical explanation i can think of.






+the more time i spend with my animals, the more i realize I'm slipping slowly into madness.. also I'm in a very verbally abusive relationship with my chiuhuahua.. he's the victim.. i don't know why he MAKES me mad at him, & yell at him all the time.. IT'S CAUSE I LOVE YOU SO DAMN MUCH YOU WORTHLESS SACK OF DOG SHIT.. now come cuddle me.. patience- i have it in spades..






+Captain Phillips- aka the longest, most not intense, intense film in the history of ever.. & as much as i don't want to agree with a certain individual that movie would have been 5 minutes long if Tom Hanks had a piece on him (you think he would have learned after Cast Away.. I'm not saying it would have helped him get rescued.. I'm just saying it might have made his time on the island more enjoyable.. you cant hold a gun & not smile..).. & then the Somalian's just looked like hunger & there was that one that didn't close his mouth, NOT ONCE, for the entire duration of the movie (which was like 7 hours.. & no, once again, I'm not being dramatic)






+body waxing sucks.. after childbirth you would think nothing on the face of this planet could phase me.. well you'd be wrong.. i tried one strip in my bikini area & said 'eff this'.. the girls at the beauty supply house are misleading (when i say 'misleading' i mean LIARS).. I've literally had EVERYone of them tell me they wax themselves all the time & it doesn't even hurt.. i can bullshit.. it's a team sport my friend.. & once you start you can't stop.. once that hot sticky torture is on your skin there's no turning back.. & there's only one way to get it off.. it's like meth.. not even once.. but if you are gonna do it once, you need someone there.. more for moral support than anything else.. but also cause deep deep down (well not so deep in some) everybody's a sadist who thinks its funny to cause people undue bodily harm by way of wax.. so when YOU can't pull the strip up you KNOW that THEY can..






+ country & rap music.. NOT as different as you would think!
::Bentleys, bendz, & beamers..............i got a truck..
::both are highly delusional in thinking that we woman just throw ourselves at them ('cause we have to beg' -no woman ever)
::both can have amOHzing songs.. but both have songs about literally NOTHING (rocking the beer guy- bubble butt)
::BOTH teach you how to spell certain words (i-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t......... g-o-o-d-t-i-m-e..)
now I'm not trying to say that they are twinners.. but they are at least 1st cousins..






+ ps while we're on a semi-country note i feel the need to address an Alan Jackson problem & ask what the hell is a hoochie cootchie & how hot does it get?? like jeez.. there are children listening..