well it's tired & i'm late

Well a lot has happened in the past month.. for instance, September is upon us.. September?? SEP-TEM-BER!!! that's the 9th month for those of you who aren't familiar with our calendar year! that means holy schnikies where the heck did the other 8 months go?? oh wait, that's right, they were overrun with sleep interrupted nights, poopy butts, & NO hygiene.. yes now I remember.. or actually I more realize what caused me to FORGET.. cause I really DON'T remember?? I just know they happened.. wha..???

 

Anyways so September has been Septemberish??  Ashcat hit his 6 month mark!! (6 month shots soon=FAIL!).. I cleaned the basement.. again.. I just hate mess, ya know? & I REALLY hate mess in that area for some UNknown reason.. Our lifelong friend Nina got married! Mom gave Mudd a MOST  unfortunate looking haircut. We switched back to Verizon Wireless (woo-hoo) & got new phone swag(double woo-hoo!) ! And some poor soul done lost itself up inside Bessy's ventilation system..

 

So first things first, Ashcat is now 6 months old!

 My little baby is not so little anymore (sweatpant swag errrday for my little chunkmunk.. he's just really round & needs the forgiving nature that elastic waistbands provide).. he is a shameless flirt i mean he LOVES the ladies! good gravy, he loves EVERYTHING female!!

he makes these meowing sounds? (which yes, makes his mama love him even more!).. he's recently started making these exasperated fart sounds with his mouth when he's tired..i'm telling you my child is SOO strange..

 he's now WALKING in his WALKER! thanks to Gabey acquiring his own set of wheels, some ingenuity, & Tibbs dog leash.. aka Cole tied Ash's walked to Gabes & made him pull Ash around like a slave-ish sled dog for a morning & now VOILA! asher can walk in the walker.. it's actually more of a march in place with slight forward motion.. but with rhythm.. my kid likes to stomp the yard??

 

septemBRA!!

So summer vacation is really over now.. like really, really over for everyone.. especially Jack Frost.. & he has been taking his job a little too seriously.. I saw an ICICLE (looks like it should be pronounced eye-kick-uhl) the other morning & I felt the coldness clear into my empty chest cavity.. & now that there is a 'nip' in the air i'm debating whether or not its time to break out ACTUAL bra's.. like with liners & cup sizes.. I fully support just wearing sports bras (& they fully support me back!) which works fine normally.. but now that the tempurature is dropping (with no sign of it rising again in the near future) i'm thinking its time to send the girls back to boob jail.. though they have most definitely reviled in the semi freedom, like that which parolees enjoy, that spandexy athletic support apparel provides...

 

The Black Abyss

The basement.. Ugh the bane of my existence. We've had people leaving, people moving home, people swapping rooms.. it. is. chaotic. so naturally mess ensues. question: & isn't it always easier to just leave your crap piled away in some very conspicuous area of the house? answer: yes.. but it is most displeasing to the eye. So I once again went DOWN DOwn down & the mess rose higher (did I really just make a Johny Cash pun?? *face palm*) .. & really we have NO room/place to put anything else in this house so it's more a game of arranging all the crap in a more condensed & esthetically nicer manner.. & I am the CHAMP it is the America to my land-stealing white dude!! ..it's real-life tetris.. but not as fun??? cause nobody ever scores a concrete win!! 'you mean houses where people actually live in don't just STAY clean???

 

Nina & Brandon got MARRIED!

& i had to do fingerwaves..

 

(boo hiss) I know, a legally binding union was formed & OF COURSE I'm moaning & groaning about the VERY small contribution I had to make towards the entire shindig.. bad self-serving llama..in my defense though i was promised in beauty school i'd most likely NEVER have to do them again once i had filled my retro quota & gradumacated, that promise has now been broken!.. anyways Nina has been our friend forEVER! her & Coley bonded quickly in the 2nd grade when they used to make 'glue-sandwiches' (Nina had sparkly blue glue.. & isn't that just the BEST kind??) & a love of ALL things weird! Anyways it was a 1920's style wedding (which's fits Nin SOOO well),

we partied like it's 1929.. minus the Great Depression part..

 

the food was BOMB.com, the reception was beautiful, the ceremony went off without a hitch, &&&& most IMPORTANTLY they are now legally & lawfully wed so SUCCESS!!

Gross Dog..

How gross is thee?? let me count the ways.. only wait no there isn't a number high enough.. well gross dog has just been pretty much being gross?? only gross with a pep in her step!! She's like 10 years old & has seen many a pet come & go & every time one reached its demise she finds her sassy pants & is all 'i'm fit as a fiddle'.. eh, more like a cello.. so gross dog has 'bovine paploma virus' (the vet speculates she consumed a tainted mouse & that's how she acquired it???) anyways her BVP has manifested itself into an OCTOPUS wart tumor thing on her back.. normally it's just all sorts of gross just by itself.. it also normally has hair that covers it so it just looks like an unsightly mound on her back.. anyways Moo Roxie has decided she will homeopathically smite it with holy water & exorcism.. JOKE!! but really she's going all natural & trying to kill it 'Bill Nye the Science Guy' style with vinegar & baking soda.. & to make sure its REALLY effective she gave the growth a crew cut! Folks I now know what the 7th circle of hell looks like.. & it makes the apocalypse look GOOD!

she is sixteen going on SEVENTEEN!!

The baby sister turned 17!! She's 119 in dog years!! How old are my parents right?? She got a starbucks frappucino & an early morning serenade for her birthday breakfast & WOULD have gotten a doughnut to boot iffff the doughnut NAZI in the Broulims bakery would have given me but ONE baked good!! (I get that your not supposed to put them out there until you put it ALL out there but come on, a childs happiness was at stake!! & yes she's technically a child for 1 more calendar year). Other than my ALMOST brawl with the baker it was a pretty low-key day.. she went to school, like kids her age do?? or don't?? (i'm not sure it's been so long since I was in HS..) got home, ate a dinner of homemade café rio (I went a little heavy on the lime.. i'm just really good at squeezing limes.. ya know??), & finished it off with tie-dye no-bake cheesecake & games with the family..  we go hard

Bangin'!

That's right. I cut bangs!! I haven't cut bangs in.. almost 2 years!! That is the life span of a toddler!

which is a funny coincedence because I now look like a toddler?? (I got a young mug) But it just felt right?? & I needed a change-er-oo! & oh hey scissors!!

Can you hear me now?? GOOOOOOOD

After a year of dealing with Union WireLESS (no really WORST CELL SERVICE EVER!! refurbished phone with nudies?? sorry weinerface11@gmail.com.. you have no secrets from me..) we switched back to Verizon! & i am now a self admitted yuppie brand whore!! oh yes.. iphone owner.. guilty as charged.. but i LOVE it & i love it even more now that i am on a network that WORKS.. & I LOVE that my first iAPP ever was fatbooth (followed shortly by agebooth).. I mean I really know how to make the most of technology folks!!! & i'm also weirdly accepting of 'fat amy'.. for whatever reason I think I don't look half bad twice my size.. those double chins really bring out my eyes, ya??