short story long: March 2014

So.. I wanna start this post by saying 'don't judge me'.. secondly this is a follow up post to the butt dimple blog.. SORT OF!! don't be turned off just yet!! I mean i'm never for the faint of heart but this one won't be THAT bad (I know, I know I was told repeatedly that it was the epitome of an imagery nightmare.. I get it ok.. ass dimples are still taboo!!)

so I finally broke down & used an actual wrap.. like industrial strength.. made for my problem.. body wrap..&& ONCE AGAIN it gave a delightful refreshing feels-like-my-butt-skin-was-breathing feeling.. & honestly I could FEEL the skin tightening!!! did it give me a backside like Giselle?? deffffffinitely NAHT.. did it help with the not so cute dimples in my not so cute cheeks?? I think some.. was the swASS reduced?? considerably!! BUT I'm a realist so I wasn't expected it to solve all my problems &&& world hunger

^body wraps, when used exclusively, are about as effective as THIS for getting that beach body .^^

or anything like that.. & i mean ANY improvement is wonderful.. Vanquished cellulite would have ALSO been decidedly wonderful.. but I can't have it all & I mean I have a really AWESOME kid so I have a feeling i'm gonna be getting the shaft a LOT to make up the deficit I now have thanks to my Ashcat (worth it my friends.. totes worth it)..

so homemade wrap- *fart sound*.. legitimate body wrap *meh*.. leiserly once a week walks on the treadmill while watching Criminal Minds *FANTASTIC but not really doing anything* so whats a girl to do??

I'll tell you what this girl did.. I joined crossfit..

I know, I know.. how lame can I get?? my 'uncool' apparently knows NO bounds.. how desperate was I???? 40 yr old virgin desperate (in my head that sounds pretty desperate.. or Lloyd Baker desperate **all of you outside the Star Valley limits will NOT understand that analogy**) so we have 2 crossfit gyms in town.. I chose Crossfit Aim.. its more my style, more my speed, & honestly I feel like a pretty big ass pirate doing crossfit in the first place HOWEVER that being said Crossfit Aim makes me feel considerably less douche.. i'm not sure how but whatevs.. i'll take it..

cross.fit.sucks.. it is the best WORST part of my day.. I hate every single second of it.. I want to puke.. I want to pass out.. I want to die.. I breath hard.. I sweat so much.. & mostly just want to die.. so the pain will stop.. & I'm convinced it will never get easier.. it will just continue to suck BUT eventually my body will just learn to shut out the pain..

or it won't!! it is the BEST workout regime for a mom though.. you have scheduled workouts, you show up, you do the work out that's been mapped out, you're usually done in 30 minutes (with WARMUP, WORKOUT,STRETCHING) & then you're DONE!! usually before your offspring even wakes up.. & its an intense workout so you know you're good for that 24 hour period.. I mean it seriously cuts into my Criminal Minds time but sacrifices MUST be made in the sake of a smooth bottom..

so that's whats new on that front.. back???? we out..

hi.. so this past weekend was all sorts of ridiculously BISSSAY! we had Ashcats 1st birthday party &&& then we Caylo's blessing the next day.. luckily we had lots of people show up so it was a rip roaring good time!!

here is a photo montage of the weekend..

yes i'm being lazy.. judge me..

^UNKL BEN & Gabey all dressed to the 9's for Ashers 1st Birthday Party

Miranda did a FABULOUS job on all stache baked goodies..

..she was even able to SAVE ashers cake (inspite of my seemingly determined efforts to make it look like ass)

my mustache is melting!!

the babes & their bottles

no pants dance

it's cool.. the closeness is legal in at least Tennessee

Gabe had a sweet ponytail

^^^wha??? mom's actually GIVING asher copious amounts of sugar^^^

ready for her closeup

^^^wearing her moms blessing dress..it was ABOUT to get too small)

^Gabe came & sat on my lap during Sacrement meeting.. he was smiling so big.. &&& then he peed on me..^

our Motley Crew

Tippetts 2014 (& hopefully 2015 edition.. we don't need 3 babies in 3 years)

Phil complained that all the pictures I posted made him look like a serial killer in the eyes..so I decided to go with this gem.. he doesn't look like a sociopath but it does scream 'UH DURRR'